55

It seems impossible, but my 55th birthday is fast approaching (Dec. 11). Consequently, I decided to make out my impossible birthday present list.

1. A first edition, hardcover, signed copy of On The Road in mint condition
2. A first edition, hardcover, signed copy of The Dharma Bums in mint condition
3. 50 copies of The Beat Handbook selling on December 11
4. A Jack Kerouac Bobblehead Doll (given out by the Lowell Spinners in August 2003)
5. One of Jack's typewriters
6. An all-expenses-paid adventure trip to Desolation Peak
7. An original, autographed letter signed by Jack (available on eBay for a mere $18,000)
8. Any book written by and signed by Jack
9. A first edition of On The Road: The Original Scroll (Viking, 2007)
10. A review of The Beat Handbook in The New York Times

By the time Jack was 55, he'd been dead for 8 years, so I'll be doing a lot better than him. That rather makes gifts irrelevant, doesn't it?